


Fish!

by Rinkafic



Series: Misc Fanfic [8]
Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-10
Updated: 2012-08-10
Packaged: 2017-11-11 20:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/482712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinkafic/pseuds/Rinkafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Done for Kink Bingo fill "Food"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fish!

Cat stretched, throwing his arms wide and going up on his toes to get the maximum effect from the motions. One of the machines in the food room down the hallway beeped. He knew that beep. He loved that beep. That beep meant that there was new food. Sometimes new food came while he was napping, and the beeping woke him up. The beeping was one of his most favorite sounds on the ship. Food Machine made the sound and that was the best thing about coming above decks to live with the human and the hologram.

He strutted down the corridor, confident that only his superior hearing had heard the beep. He would surely be first to the food. The others were either too lazy to come, or didn’t eat food, which was fine with Cat, it meant there was more for him.

“Helloooooo, beautiful. And how are we today? I, for one, am quite fine, as always.” He spun a little circle and slicked his hair back. Then he stroked his hand lovingly over the cool, smooth, shiny surface of his greatest love on the ship, Food Machine. He had come to believe that his attentions were what made Food Machine give him things that he liked to eat while it gave the stupid monkey stuff that he made faces at when he tasted it. Food Machine liked him better.

He pressed the panel on the front that was lit up. He hoped there was fish today. Fish was the best thing that Food Machine gave him. Sometimes, there was no fish, and he had to settle for chicken. Chicken was okay. Not as good as fish though. He said, “Fish,” as monkey man had taught him to say to get Food Machine to give him tasty things on the first day he had come up from belowdecks.

The metallic voice said, “Today’s fish is Poached Salmon in a White Wine Sauce.”

Oooooo, that was good. He liked salmon. It was pretty and pink. Cat liked pretty and he loved pink and combined with his favorite food made it all even better. He pressed the delivery button and a covered plate came out of the Food Hole. He gathered it up and happily repeated, “Fish!”

“Today’s fish is Poached Salmon in a White Wine Sauce.” It sounded just as good the second time, as well as the third, fourth and fifth times Food Machine repeated it. He took his stack of plates to the table and set them down. Then he slid gracefully into his chair and tied a napkin around his neck to keep his suit and tie clean. ‘Cleanliness next to Cloisterness.’ That’s what the old priest used to tell him.

Goal post head wandered through the compartment, rolling his eyes as he saw the stack of Plates Cat had. “These are mine!” Cat snapped, putting an arm protectively around his food. He’d caught it, it was his.

“I can’t touch it anyway, you moron,” the hologram said and continued on through the room and out the other door.

He opened the lid of the first plate and sniffed appreciatively. A lovely rectangle of fishy goodness smothered in delicious sauce made his mouth water. He licked his fangs. This was going to be heavenly. He set the plate down a slight distance across the table and leaned in, eyeing it. Then he pounced.

Victory was his!

He snatched up the fish in his hand and gobbled it down in a few bites. It was delicious, as always.

Cat licked his lips, wiped his chin with his napkin and reached for the second plate. He didn’t open this one right away, he pushed it around the table a little, sliding it almost to the edge and then pulling it back. Then, he pounced, capturing the fish.

Monkey boy didn’t come in until Cat had caught and devoured ten plates of “Poached Salmon in a White Wine Sauce.” He looked around at the plates and frowned. “You’re supposed to eat the rice and vegetables too, Cat, not just the fish.”

“I like fish,” Cat said simply, then got up from his chair and went off to have his next nap.

 

The End


End file.
